NFTitties

You can look but you can't touch

If you have a Twitter, have a boyfriend that’s obsessed with crypto, or know who Grimes is, chances are you’ve heard of NFTs in the past few weeks. You’re also probably extremely tired of hearing about NFTs, so my goal is to make this article straightforward with an analogy you can picture.. 

One of my best friends recently got a boob job. She had been talking about getting one for a long time, so when she finally did it, I couldn’t wait to see. I ran over to her apartment and was just in awe when she opened her front door.

“Holy f***, you look amazing!!!!”

“Thank you! I love them. God, I better love them for what these things cost.”

“Can I..?”

“No, I’m sorry. You can look but you can’t touch em.”

“Ahh okay, totally understand. Ugh, I kinda want them now.”

“Dude, get them. I’m obsessed”

WTF is an NFT?

An NFT is a Non-Fungible Token that’s traded on the blockchain. Basically, it’s an asset you can buy and hold that’s totally unique like a piece of digital art, a song, a gif, or even a Tweet (yes, Jack Dorsey recently listed his first Tweet as an NFT and it’s selling for $2.5m…). Unlike stocks or most crypto assets that are fungible -  where you trade one asset for another similar asset in return- NFTs are non-fungible because there’s only one unique token. If bitcoin and stocks are like Zara clothes, NFTs are one of a kind Depop glitter pants from 1987. 

What do NFTs and my friend’s new boobs have in common?

1. They are an investment - Fake boobs are EXPENSIVE. Before my friend got them, she talked about buying them for years and met with a ton of doctors to figure out who would give her the best bubbies for the most reasonable price. NFTs are also investments and there has been increased attention around NFTs over the past few months. Investors, Twitter, celebrities, and musicians have been buzzing about them as the hottest new asset class. They are an asset inherently because you buy them with the hope that they go up in value and can sell them.

2. You can look but you can’t touch - My friend was super clear when I first saw her after surgery - “you can look but you can’t touch em.” NFTs are the same. If you were to buy an NFT, let’s call it Nyan Cat, you can buy it, hold it online, but you aren’t going to be carrying it around in your purse or receiving a Nyan Cat in the mail after purchase. You’re simply going to own a unique token that says, “this bad b*tch owns Nyan Cat and it’s worth 500k.” 

3. They are one of a kind - At this point, the boob analogy is overkill but I want to finish this one out. My friend’s boobs are one of a kind. No one on earth is going to have her boobs aside from her. Sure, other people can get boob jobs of a similar size and shape. Hell, they can go to the same doctor, show them a pic of her tits, but at the end of the day, her’s are completely unique. That’s the insane thing about NFTs, they are completely unique...and that is what makes them so valuable. 

How do they work?

NFTs are part of the Ethereum blockchain (a blockchain is a digital ledger where transactions are recorded). The purpose is to keep track of who owns what. NFTs use blockchain technology so we can track who owns Nyan Cat and Grimes’ songs. Technically, any blockchain can create their own NFTs, but Ethereum did it first. 

Now, you’re probably wondering wtf this all means and why it's important. Let me explain. Grimes recently released a 50-second video called Death of the Old for $390,000 as an NFT. Pretty much anyone can watch that video and anyone can record the video, but only 1 person can claim they actually own it and that’s made possible by blockchain technology. Only one person “owns” that video on the blockchain and is assigned as the technical owner on the ledger. And that lucky person also has the right to sell the digital asset.

Why do they exist?

NFTs have actually been around for a while. In 2014, an artist by the name of Kevin McCoy sold a GIF for about $4. Then, the asset class went quiet until 2017 when people started going crazy for cryptokitties. They were like neopets meets pokemon cards for bitcoin nerds. Then NFTs went quiet again until 2020. My theory is that tons of artists and musicians were struggling without being able to perform live, so turned to alternative income streams like NFTs to make some extra cash and it just took off. When Grimes said she was selling an NFT, I know I had no idea what an NFT was but I was interested because… Grimes.

Things to Keep in Mind

Alright crypto queen, before you go ahead and start your new life as a digital art dealer, please keep some things in mind before you get started.

1. They aren't for everyone - I think my friend and her new boobs look INCREDIBLE. The confidence alone that they give her makes me so happy but at the same time, they aren’t for me. A, I’d look insane and B, I can hardly get blood drawn nonetheless opt into an elective surgery with a 2 month recovery time. NFTs are similar, they are great investments for some, but definitely not for everyone. If you don’t have savings and have never invested in a 401k, you probably shouldn’t blow your load on a Grimes NFT. However, if you have extra cash, have a balanced portfolio and want to diversify your assets with an alt investment, NFTs might be your niche. 

2. They are risky - NFTs just came out. They are like the wild west of investments and no one really knows the direction they are going to take. They also might just be an investment trend. That said, think about the risk involved before buying them and understand, you might not get your money back. I told my friend before her boob job, there’s really no turning back from here - so do you really want to do this? If the answer is yes, then go for it, but understand there might be some complications.

3. Their value is derived by perception - The only reason NFTs hold any value is because people think they do. That’s also why celebs are making a killing but your little brother that tried to make an NFT of his first SoundCloud song isn’t getting any traction (sorry little bro, maybe you’ll make it someday). 

4. We don’t know what the future holds - Although they are highly risky and speculative, I’d still keep an eye on these. When I think about NFTs, I think about modern art. The first person to sell a painting of a blank canvas was probably told they were crazy, but the amount of times I’ve seen similar paintings in the MOMA is wild, so maybe NFT sellers are the new modern artists trying to make it in the world. That being said, please don’t dump your life savings in some NFT kitties because you think they are the future. Maybe get your savings in order first.

If you’re interested in learning more, watch here:

What’s next?

Stay tuned for next week’s article (I’ll be dropping hints on my IG @notyourbfsinvestmentadvice). If there is a topic you want to discuss, please DM me or email me at kelsey.willock@tardiapp.com. I also host a weekly Clubhouse room on Tuesdays at 9:30am PST/12:30pm EST called Not Your Boyfriend’s Investment Advice, so you can ask me anything live. See you next week lover.